My Name is Silas Now and I Love Bananas
Saturday, August 17, 2013
By: Marissa E
My Name is Silas Now and I Love Bananas
My triumphant return to domesticity and the seemingly random encounters that sometimes confuse me.
Briefly following our departure from my beloved Huron Valley, I demanded that my two new companions drive me to a historic, 19th century cemetery so that I could choose for myself a suitable handle. And so it was that I will now be known as Silas.
Your great and exalted hero and my two trusty human sidekicks have explored all the land for new banana-related treasures, from the colossal realms of distant urban cityscapes to the quaint local riverbeds. I have conquered them all, please contain your worship of me until the end of my writing so that you can fully absorb my brilliance.
I have regrettably become very attached to these two human companions, they hug me often and drive me places. I can't blame them for I am as handsome as I am accomplished. And I don't hold them in complete contempt, either. These days, I spend the majority of my time resting, sleeping, and napping. I sometimes wake up for periodic bouts of barking at the local kittens and tricking the humans into funneling me more bananas.
Below, I have put together a few important bullets that you may use to quickly tell your children and grandchildren of my greatness:
Likes:
-bananas
-my two humans
-dog park
-car rides
-napping in laundry baskets
Dislikes:
-The ongoing perpetuation of the myth of a growing middle class and the disparity of the distribution of wealth in the modern US geopolitical climate.
-Breed-Specific Legislation that continues to ostracize me and my terrier brethren from some of our favorite hangouts: Ontario, and all of Western Europe... basically anywhere good.
You may resume your worship of my beauty at any time.
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